Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Superpowers, and ABC No Ordinary Family

This is sponsored content from BlogHer and ABC's No Ordinary Family.

The assignment was to write about what superpowers I would choose, for myself and for the members of my family. I mulled this over. Soon I realized I was thinking TOO SMALL: I could be INVISIBLE or I could WALK THROUGH WALLS or I could READ MINDS---but instead what was I thinking of? I was thinking it would be great to have a superpower that would...rapidly clean my house. Er.

I have a superpower advantage at my house because I have more than the average number of family members to assign powers to. We can really diversify. But speaking of that same larger-than-usual family, the housecleaning thing really would be nice, because, really, we could clean the bathroom DAILY and not be overdoing it. Hm. If one of us is going to have the power of, um, Rapid and Thorough Cleaning, it seems like we should super that power up a notch by putting that person to work cleaning up oil spills in the ocean and earthquake-collapsed building rubble and so forth, too. A full-time job cleaning up disasters is not a career that appeals to me, so I'm giving the Power of Cleanliness (to be used for our own personal house as well as for major environmental messes) to Rob: a classic firstborn and also a pre-teen, he's big on environmental indignation. Plus, he should learn to clean a toilet before he grows up and gets married.

I think I should choose/distribute all the superpowers the same way: powers that would benefit our family or the individual person on a small and individual sort of scale, but ALSO let them make a fulfilling and world-hugging career out of their superness. Because that is THE SUPERHERO WAY. It is how superheroes ROLL.

The problem, then, is how am I going to "also benefit the world" with invisibility, because I would really enjoy all the snooping and eavesdropping I could do with that, but I can't find the philanthropic angle. Oh! No, wait, I change my mind: I want the power to explain anything to anyone, so that they understand and, ahem, agree with me. No, no, wait, I want to be able to do something with TIME! ...Can we come back to mine later?

I know what my husband Paul would want, because every time he catches anything before it falls, he flexes his muscles and says "Luckily, I have LIGHTING-QUICK REFLEXES!" So that's the superpower I'll give him: not just reflexes, but lightning-speed all around. The kind of superhero who sees a truck about to hit someone and can dart in, get the person, and dart out again, so fast no one even sees it. This would also be convenient when we're making dinner and realize we're short an ingredient. SHWOOSH to the store! SHWOOSH home again!

And now I know what I want: I want to be able to speak any language fluently. I want The Power of Babel, as it were. (Geddit, GEDDIT??) This would be great for traveling ("not knowing the language" is my number one fear), and I'd enjoy working in translating---both spoken and written. This may not be as AMAZING as invisibility, but I WANT IT. I'm already imagining myself delivering a speech to the United Nations that would bring everyone to tears, and peace to the world. And being able to understand any language gives me excellent eavesdropportunities.

I think SOMEONE should be able to go back in time to change things: it's just SO convenient on mornings when an alarm doesn't go off or we leave a lunchbox at home or we get in a fender-bender. Let's give that power to Henry: not only is he the youngest so he's easiest to contact and use, he lovvvves dinosaurs and could in his spare time go visit them. Plus, he already wants to be a "paleo-tah-jolist" (paleontologist), so this gives him a BIG edge over future colleagues.

It seems like someone should have invisibility or telepathy, too, but I don't like the idea of any of the kids being able to do that.

William, a fourth-grader who spends all his allowance on magic tricks, can have the power of elemental transmutation: being able to change one thing into another by changing the arrangements/combinations of molecules. Not only will this be excellent for college (he's interested in chemistry), I assume this would make him a pretty fast cook. And perhaps he could work with Rob on environmental issues afterward, if only he and Rob could stop their INCESSANT BICKERING.

That leaves Edward and Elizabeth, and it seems like twins need complementary powers, and Power Rings to click together to activate them. But instead let's give Edward the power to heal, which he can use for his own deeply traumatizing owies ("AAAAAAAAAAAAA, IS THERE BLOOD??, AAAAAAAAAA!!!") and also as a worldwide career later on. And Elizabeth, who likes to know EVERYTHING, can have one of those powers where the person knows something is going to happen right before it does, and can whisk someone out of trouble and/or stop it before it happens.

I suggested they put on superhero capes. I think they need more practice.

What superpowers would YOU choose for YOUR family?

We're discussing this topic because there's a new show on ABC called No Ordinary Family, in which all four members get superpowers: one super speed, one super strength, one mental telepathy, and one super intelligence.

To see the video better than my blog format will apparently let me show it: better version of the video.
To see stories by other bloggers: special offers page.
For more information about the show: ABC No Ordinary Family show page.
To visit them on Facebook: No Ordinary Family on Facebook.


Saly said...

Oh Swistle! The entry period for the Disney trip has ended!!

But it sure was nice to read what super powers you would choose. I'd choose to be able to freeze time for everyone around me so I could take a nap or read a book in peace.

Swistle said...

Er, indeed. I've sent an email to my boss and we'll see what's up.

d e v a n said...

Ooh, super powers! I would want invisibility! I would want my husband to have the ability to teleport anywhere in the blink of an eye - and take us with him. ;)
The kids... i'm not sure they should get super powers until they're 18. ha

Misty said...

I want my kids to have amazing OBEDIENCE POWERS. Wherein, they not only do as I say, they actually want to and like it! So, they are not little automatons, but rather just extra-good-listeners.

Eh? Eh? Just thinking about it makes me happy.

Firegirl said...

This reminds me of The Incredibles!

I think I would choose being quick too. Get everything done in a flash. Kevin would choose teleporting, I think.

The cape fail is too funny!

melanie said...

i've always wanted to be like mrs. incredible with lots of stretchy ability. i definitely think God should have made moms this way. maybe our hormones could soften our bones etc. so that they could become stretchy (in a good way!) when we have our babies!


Kelsey said...

Can I give my whole family the ability to sense and avoid any minuscule trace of peanuts/nuts? We could stop worrying about pesky "may contain" language (or lack thereof) and just, I don't know, scan an item or surface for peanut traces. That would come in really handy for use and I would be happy to put it to use for others as well! :-)

DawnA said...

Tricky question. I would like to be able to fly. That way I would have more time in my day by avoiding all the traffic. Hubby would have crazy speediness. And son would have great strength.
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